If you put tomfoolery into a computer, nothing comes out of it but tomfoolery. But this tomfoolery, having passed through a very expensive machine, is somehow ennobled and no-one dares criticize it.

If the automobile had followed the same development cycle as the computer, a Rolls-Royce would today cost $100, get a million miles per gallon, and explode once a year, killing everyone inside.

To err is human,... and to blame it on a computer is even more so.

The most likely way for the world to be destroyed, most experts agree, is by accident. That's where we come in; we're computer professionals. We cause accidents.

There is nothing better than a friend, unless it is a friend with chocolate.

My husband and I just spent 20 minutes choosing the most awkward songs to load on his phone when driving our teen and her friends around, in case you wondered if there’s any magic left in marriage after kids.

My dog acts like he's always auditioning to be my best friend. I'm like "Dude, you already got the part,... You can relax."

The last nine hours of the working day are definitely the hardest.

The hardest thing after my divorce was learning to finish my own sentences.

I don't run from my problems. I sit on my couch, play on my phone and ignore them like all the other adults.